The Gentle Art of Making Enemies

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PARIS, Aug. 21, 1886. [Illustration] _The Inevitable_ [Sidenote: _Truth_, Sept. 9, 1886.] When I suggested you as the "Sapeur of modern progress," my dear Henry, I thought to convey delicately my appreciation, wrapped in graceful compliment. When I am made to say that you are the "Sapem" of civilisation--whatever that may mean--I would seem to insinuate an impertinence clothed in classic error. I trust that, if you forgive me, you will never pardon the printer.--Always, [Illustration] "_Noblesse oblige_" [Sidenote: _The World_, Dec. 31, 1884.] Atlas, look at this! It has been culled from the _Plumber and Decorator_, of all insidious prints, and forwarded to me by the untiring people who daily supply me with the thinkings of my critics. Read, Atlas, and let me execute myself: "The 'Peacock' drawing-room of a well-to-do shipowner, of Liverpool, at Queen's Gate, London, is hand-painted, representing the noble bird with wings expanded, painted by an Associate of the Royal Academy, at a cost of L7000, and fortunate in claiming his daughter as his bride, and is one of the finest specimens of high art in decoration in the kingdom. The mansion is of modern construction." He is not guilty, this honest Associate! It was _I_, Atlas, who did this thing--"alone I did it"--_I_ "hand-painted" this room in the "mansion of modern construction." Woe is me! _I_ secreted, in the provincial shipowner's home, the "noble bird with wings expanded"--_I_ perpetrated, in harmless obscurity, "the finest specimen of high-art decoration"--and the Academy is without stain in the art of its member. Also the immaculate character of that Royal body has been falsely impugned by this wicked "_Plumber_"!


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